Saturday, November 12, 2011

Hang on; The Show goes on !

Cricket is a strange game where amusing things keep happening. So it is neigh say impossible to remain away from Cricket for long; even when India play Sri Lanka in a 21 match bilateral ODI series soon after the IPL. So much fun on the run and how could SPun Doctor miss all the pun ?
So here is my 11 for the week that was or almost.
1] Run Gauty Run: First of all Gautam’s running between wickets has become a Gambhir problem for India. Every time he sets out for a run, he seems to run out of ideas. He needs to contact Abhishek Bachchan immediately to get an idea. GG is just 2G he needs to upgrade to “What an !dea 3G”
2] Limited Sehwagging: Virendar Sehwag probably needs to be reminded of a Test match being played over 5 days and not 20 overs. He last played competitive Cricket for Delhi Daredevils and since then hasn’t seen the 21st over yet. He also has become the most stumped player of all times.
3] No Es-Cape Town: South Africa and Australia collectively lost 20 wickets for 143 runs at one stage during the first test in mildly testing conditions at Cape Town. Australian collapse looked more like West Indian. And short little Raina and other Indian batsmen are supposed to be weak against pace and short pitched bowling.
4] Taylor for the minnows: Zimbabwe on the other hand have shown tremendous guts in their come back to test Cricket. The last day of the Bulawayo test was a great day for Test Cricket in spite of the fact that the underdog lost. It was a Taylor made chase till Brendon lasted. All stitches fell off after his fall.
Taylor played Captain's knock !
5] Capital Punishment: India have been quite benevolent all these years allowing the likes of Ajmal Kasab and Afzal Guru to live luxuriously at our expenditure and going on postponing the gallows. But for once, Team India escaped from Capital punishment at the national Capital thanks to meek capitulation by West Indies and some special bowling by Ravichandran Ashwin. Conceding 95 runs on first innings against stronger teams would have meant a fifth straight test defeat for Dhoni and Co.
6] Royal British Certificate of Merit: We the Indians somehow need the British to certify our products and prodigies even six decades after they left the shores. It was the Surrey Manager Chris Adams’ certificate that gave Ojha a new lifeline and he has done well to hang on. But has the hangman’s noose fallen elsewhere on a certain Turbanator’s career ? 
7] Complete Retirement Plans: Shahid Afridi has made a awesome welcome back to international Cricket at the tender yet ripe age of 25. When he decides to retire this time, he promises to retire completely ! And until he retires completely, we should not consider his retirement as full and final. We hope he will join Mohammed Yusuf in the retirement home once he does so finally. Or will he ? 
8] Down with the Count Down: Sachinists all over India, abroad and on the Mars should remember one thing. He has managed to score the hundredth run ninety nine times in the past two decades. He can as well do it the hundredth time sooner than  later. But to do so, he needs to score those ninety nine runs first. At least keep peace till he enters nineties. So can we please relax and let him relax too ? And for TENdulkar’s sake, can we begin the count down from Ten rather than Hundred ? 
9] Spots Fixed Butt there still is an appeal: While the Pakistani troika of Butt, Asif and Amer have been fixed to their spots in the UK prison by stringent laws, Pakistan have steamrolled a much stronger on paper Sri Lanka in their home series being played abroad. Pakistan Cricket never runs out of surprises, while the shamed trio is busy making a different kind of appeal ! 
10] Cricket Bravery award of the year:  Siddle and Lyon for saving Aussies from the ignominy of equaling the lowest ever score in a Test innings and also for more than doubling the score from where they came together. So shocked were the South Africans by the Australian batting display that even Morkel failed bowl a single no ball or a wide ball.
11] A Cricket Trivia question: How many times has a number 11 batsman top scored for his team in a Test innings ? Australia achieved the distinction at Cape Town. While the former greats lose sleep, the haloed Baggy Green ain’t green no more !
With a lot more Cricket coming up, SPun Doctor hopes to ‘come back’ with more pun on the run. That honestly doesn’t mean retirement and come back.
Govind Raj Shenoy aka SPun Doctor for DieHard Cricket Fans

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