Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Three Points Everyone – How Homeworkgate could have been avoided

“Sigh. I hope I can still carry drinks.”
Yesterday morning, I was wondering how slowly time passes by while one waits for the next cricket match featuring the Indian team. Then without warning, the cricket universe erupted in furor over the axing of four Australian cricketers from the Mohali game. Reason? The four players had failed to turn over an assignment to the coach within the imposed deadline. Task? Give at least three pointers about what the team had learnt from their drubbing in the first two tests and how they could improve over the remainder of the series. Predictably, Twitter and Facebook had a field day mercilessly mocking Mickey Arthur and the Aussie team. It seemed like an over-reaction from a frazzled team management in the middle of an important series gone terribly wrong.

A day later, mockery has given way to a more pragmatic understanding of the situation. The punishment may have been harsh, but it does seem like a reasonable request from the coach and captain to provide one’s input on how things can change for the better. After all, how hard is it to come up with a minimum of three pointers on how to improve the Australian performance? Especially, since they had five days to come up with it! Here are some of my suggestions, if the four players had the foresight to outsource their assignment to social media.
  1. Ask for bouncy pitches
  2. Get laughed at
  3. Tell the opposition we’ll see them in Australia

  1. Bowl in the right areas
  2. Execute our skills
  3. Listen less to Ravi Shastri’s commentary

  1. Bat better
  2. Bowl better
  3. Field better

  1. Ask Pujara what he has for breakfast
  2. Ask the Indian spinners for tips on how to play them
  3. Ask Jadeja for fielding tips

  1. Eat
  2. Pray
  3. Love

  1. Get a better coach
  2. Haha..I was kidding. I meant “coach” as in bus
  3. Pack my bags

  1. Less presentations
  2. More net practice
  3. Pack my bags

  1. Bat like Clarke
  2. Bowl like Pattinson
  3. Field like Warner

  1. Don’t bat like Hughes
  2. Don’t bowl like Maxwell
  3. Don’t field like Cowan

  1. Import batsmen from South Africa
  2. Import spinners from Pakistan
  3. Import coach from Zimbabwe
  4. (bonus) Pack my bags.

Benny for DieHard Cricket Fans
Follow Benny on Twitter @tracerbullet007

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