Thursday, May 26, 2011

Shane Warne And The Indian Love Affairs

There is just something about Shane Warne and India. The man seems to cause more of a stir there than even his own turf and the latest of the famous blondie’s debacle caps off a long series of unfortunate events. Lets take a trip down memory lane and rediscover some of the joys he has gone through.
The Baked Beans Affair of 1998
Warne may be an Indian household figure now, probably chugging down the butter naan and tikka masala with aplomb, but back track many years ago and he couldn’t eat a thing over there. Obviously a big crisis, Warne had fast tracked spaghetti and baked beans to be shipped over there, his famous quote was “I am really craving for some canned spaghetti on toast”. How dare those other wet blankets complain of petty issues like home sickness.
The Tendulkar Affair of 1998
This series was famous for Tendulkar and friends walloping the Australians around like it was all a big joke. Warne had developed a good reputation as a bowler by then, but India is the one place he never came close to conquering. The little master smacked him around in the brutal manner only seen by the little one back in those glory days. Warne in his career (as a bowler) was rarely made to look silly, here he was.
"You should have imported spinach instead" © AFP
The Bookies Affair of 1998
Well what a great year this was, three in a row! Warne this time got snapped with fellow pretty boy Mark Waugh for dealing illegally with bookies. He divulged weather and strategy information and was later fined. In terms of cricketing corruption this was probably his only black mark.
The Eden Gardens Affair of 2001
No controversies here, but a serious plundering. There is no need to recap the famous miracle victory over the Australians which included the Laxman 281. But lets pay attention to Warne’s nightmarish experiences. 34 overs, 1 wicket for a monstrous 152 runs at 4.47 runs an over. Embarrassingly bad, the highlights reel show Laxman and Dravid toying as if it was not the Golden Boy, but Goldilocks bowling.
The Ganguly Affair of 2008
Ah, one always savors a clash between two cocky and colorful characters of the game. The IPL was a successful time for Warne then, but not so during this incident. Unhappy with Ganguly not walking after a claimed catch, he went on to say “… Sourav asked the Indian umpire to go to the TV replay. That’s not in the spirit of the game so I was very, very disappointed with Sourav.” I find this pretty hilarious coming from Warne, who over the years loves to milk umpires and has had his fair share of stealing dodgy LBW and caught decisions.
The Beer Affair of 2009
A light incident, completely avoidable if not for Warne’s impressive ability to attract bad situations. Rather than turn away a spectators beer on the boundary rope, Warne decided to take a sip, in a world where nothing escapes the merciless eye of the camera. No excuses here, we all know the IPL was a big party, but the man could have at least played along with the gag and pretended to take it seriously, like the rest of the paycheck collectors.
The Hurley Affair of 2011
Look Shane, this is India. This is a land where strutting and dancing with the cheerleaders while attempting to look/dress like one is perfectly acceptable. We can thank ‘modern’ Bollywood for this, “Hey the NRI guys and Saif do it, so it must be totally cooool doood ya”? Thou shalt club, thou shalt drink, thou shalt strip down. But kissing your girlfriend in public! Utter disgrace! Learn the rules Mr Warne.
The Pitch Affair of 2011
And finally we have the inspiration of this article. To be honest this time I back Warne, apparently he wanted a spin friendly pitch (like blood from a stone), and he got duly laughed off by the dictator curator. A furious Warne vented, and copped a $50,000 USD fine for it. A completely ridiculous punishment of course, but surely by now Mr. Warne has learned to avoid being a show pony. Whats next, a Bollywood contract?
The love triangle cast is already secure. © AFP
Contributed by Varun Prasad
Original Post : The Cricket Musings

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