The Aussie Annihilation: A Lazy Analysis !

Returning to "DHCF Blog" after the longest hiatus of almost half an year. It wasn't as if I was too occupied or had lost interest. It was just that I was lazy to compile a blog-post and was satisfied with short comments on the Social Media. Here I am just compiling some of them together; my take on the Annihilation of Aussies !

Chennai:

India's Opening pair reminds me so much of "Sholay". We have a Viru and a Vi-Jay and then there is a Coin Toss Dhoni NEVER wins !

Exasperated with the Aussie tail bothering our bowlers, Bhajji has declared, "India should ban wickets 8 / 9 / 10 or take them at the beginning of the innings !"

The Chennai pitch where India scored 572 and their last 3 wickets added 200 in less than 50 overs is a bonafide dodgy subcontinental minefield of a track not suitable for Test Cricket !

Question: What did Nathan tell Sachin Tendulkar that upset his rhythm before his fall ?
Answer: Saaraa shehar humen Lyon ke naam se jaanta hai !

Virat is now definitely ready to carry the burden of nation. Well deserved century ! 

Jadeja getting so much turn and 3 wickets on day-1 of a test means just one thing. This test might end before lunch on day-4, if not earlier !

Hyderabad:

The theme at Hyderabad was: Kai Po CHE ! 

Clarke survived a very close LBW of Jadeja. So Jaddu boy decided to take the law into his own hands and bowled him now ! 

Clarke gambled by declaring with 1 wicket still left. But Dhoni is a Master of the Gamble: He sent 2 Night Watchmen to Open !

Shane Watson's wife gives birth to their first child. Likely to be named Powerpoint Presentation-1 ! 

Michael Clarke will get out in all possible ways to Jadeja before the end of this series !

Ravindra jadeja should be immediately appointed Honorary Manager of all Government offices. He knows how handle Clarkes !

Cheteshwar Pujara and Murali Vijay have beaten Australia by an innings at Hyderabad !

Of the 4 suspended Australian players, only one is a Man [Usman]. Rest all are Sons [Watson, Pattinson, Johnson] !

If coach were to ask Bhajji to make a presentation, he'd've given him a glittering 'gift wrapped' "Presentation !" 

Haddin going to India: He is expected to Wade through troubled waters !

Mohali:

India's Population Control Board must hire M S Dhoni's services. He can eliminate many with his ways at the crease during tight chases !

Mickey Arthur has ordered Phil Hughes to buy a Pup or Dog that can eat his homework before the second innings !

Rajeev Shukla was quoted as, "Shikar Dhawan is the best thing to have happened to Indian Cricket since Rahul Gandhi !"

Inspired from the famous Bachchan dialoguie from "Sharaabi": "Mooche Ho to ho Shikhar Dhawan jaisi, Nahin to naa ho !"

The Hundred Man and the Twirling Mustache

End of the road for the Viru-Gauty ? Too early to write them off but Dhawan, Vijay success means a happy Dhoni sans the Delhi-Bully gang !

Delhi:
 

Dhoni has won everything in this series except toss !

Jadeja will get two wickets lesser in Delhi test thanks to Clarke !

Jadeja can't give up on Australian Captains. Clarke nahin toh Watson sahi !

Jadeja completes an over in the time that Ishant takes to push back his hair into place !

Will Ojha spend 1 year on 99 ala Tendulkar ?

We soon might have ads like "This ball of the over sponsored by...blah blah" on NEO Prime TV !

I wonder why they didn't send Ajinkya Rahane to open. He has enough experience opening; the drinks bottles !

Indian middle order is like our bureaucracy. They sit in AC and order around. We people know they won't but we still expect them to deliver the goods !

  

Australia missed Clarke the bowler than the batsman. Jadeja too missed him, but the batsman !

Australia Captain Clarke has ''Declared'' they can take pride over the fact that India couldn't bowl them out 8 times in the series !

No more performance related worries for Mrs. Che Pujara !

Che Pujara's wife is totally satisfied and extremely happy with his performance !

Govind Raj Shenoy for DieHard Cricket Fans

Astrology, Feng Shui and Selecting Team India

Breaking News...

The BCCI has disbanded the recently reconstituted BCCI Selection Committee with immediate effect. Mr. Sandeep Patil and Co have received the marching orders and a brand new Selection Committee with high profile "Specialist selectors" has been constituted. The regional quota has been disbanded for good.

Mr. Sreenivasan gave brief introduction of the new selection committee members. The photographs have been withheld due to the inauspicious period prevailing according to the adverse planetary positions and will be made public once the stars are favorable.

The list of Selectors

Sri. Guruvayoor Somasekhara "Kalimuthu" Panicker Avargal: A prominent practitioner of the famous South Indian black magic hails from a village near Madhurai in Tamil Nadu and he will be the Chief of Selectors. Though originally from Guruvayoor in Kerala, Sri. Panicker has vast knowledge of South Indian black magic. He will target the key players from opposition camps and make them ineffective against India with his Tantra Kriya and Shatru Paraajaya Kriya. It was with his help that CSK tamed Chris Gayle in the 2010 IPL Final. It is believed that Mr.

The Wrists that launched a Thousand Flicks !

The Gods of Eden !

What do I feel now ? When I saw Yahoo headline, "VVS Laxman retires..." I thought he would do it after the New Zealand series. But it went on "... with immediate effect" !

Well, his timing never deserted him. He said he is making way for the younger generation. What better way than give them the cushion of playing on home soil ? Salutes to Laxman for being VVS !
People are writing a lot of wonderful things about Laxman. I am not as gifted with words. So I have to do it my way. What do I think now ? What all things come to my mind now ? I can write a thousand things, but will settle for 10 things that come straight from the heart ! 

281 and Eden: The Best Ever Cricket Innings by an Indian !

Wrists: That on-drove Shane Warne through mid-wicket !

Flicks: That gave us so many kicks as he batted along with the "Wall" of bricks !

Gentleman: Who enthralled us with his wrists, smile and magnificent demeanor !

Random Cricket Headlines !

This is Radio Doctoring the Balls 99.99. Cricket Headlines brought to you by Dr. Balls.

Shahid Afridi didn't announce retirement from any form of Cricket today.

Sachin Tendulkar's legs were not trembling when he registered his first vote in the Rajya Sabha because Shoaib Aqtar was not present in the house at that time. Shahid Afridi has confirmed this report.

 Kevin Peitersen has appointed Shahid Afridi as his 'Retirement Coach' and Mohammed Yousuf will act as a Consultant on retirement plans.

On grounds of anonymity, a BCCI insider has confided to Dr. Balls that Gautam Gambhir lost his Vice-Captaincy not on disciplinary grounds. Since GG is actually 2G, the BCCI patronized by Sharad Pawar didn't want to be seen promoting anything even remotely related to 2G.

What do the juniors in Team India call Sehwag behind him ? Virus [Viru S] !

Former Australia Captain Ricky Ponting's Biography has been titled, "Rickypedia". The contents have been kept top secret. But Dr. Balls promises to bring out a preview even before it is written and plans to call it, "Rickyleaks".

Rohit Sharma: Demand for a DNA Test !

After finding nothing interesting to write on Cricket for over 100 days, I return to write on Cricket because of the magnitude of the event that is happening right now.

I have always considered Dhoni as an extremely recalcitrant Captain who will play some of his favorites with the 'come what may' attitude and will keep some away with equal passion. He has done that with Ravindra Jadeja before and now it is Rohit [Nohit] Sharma. Everyone following Cricket in India must have felt dismayed to see the name of Rohit in the India list this afternoon and Rohit hasn't belied our belief in him ! 

So much so, even people not even remotely connected to Cricket have expressed anguish, anger and exasperation. Here are some of the reactions pouring in as India slide towards another defeat thanks to a middle order batsman who can't score a run but can't be dropped either.

Anna Hazare: I have decided to go on an indefinite fast till Rohit Sharma is dropped from the team. Cricket is sustained by the Aam Aadmi's money and not by the BCCI, Selectors or the Captain's whims. We need a strong Jan Team-Pal bill. This bill will ensure that the Indian team for every match will be selected by people's vote.