World Cup 2015 - Aus vs NZ, Match of the Tournament?

Forget the famous India vs Pakistan rivalry for a moment.

Forget the Ashes, England have descended back into the 90s and don't look like coming out.

If we are talking cricketing rivalries, surely Australia vs New Zealand is now the most anticipated match up in world cricket.  This match was no exception.

Consider:

• Both teams are co-hosts and equally red hot favorites to win
• It was 23 years ago at this very venue when Martin Crowe's men stunned Australia
• The Trans-Tasman rivalry has been shelved in favor of the "big three" playing each other endlessly, we are deprived of Chappell-Hadlee battles.

The entire nation was humming, four million cricket nuts pumped and ready to dream big, boo David Warner and outplay the Aussies back over the ditch. For once we actually had eleven players capable of the feat, but even so it was an incredibly tough game to pick as both sides are extremely similar. Madness at the top, class in the middle, terrific bowling & fielding and a bloody mindedness to win at all costs.

Have we become a warm friendly version of the win hungry-Aussies, is little brother now an identical twin?

The match was arguably the most extraordinary world cup game of all time (top three at least). It was one of those rare surreal experiences in sport where the contest is so much more than just a bunch of guys on TV bashing a ball around with sticks. The history, the context, the emotion were all brewed in a perfect cocktail of cricket.

Like any truly memorable game the match swung like Wasim Akram in-swingers on grass:

1. Southee Nails Finch - Those first few overs were Zaheer Khan 2003 territory, a nervous wreck spraying the ball everywhere and runs leaking like a sieve. Was Australia going to repeat the 359-2?  Southee cleaning out Finch squashed that theory quick fast and got a nation of 4 million sighing with relief.

2. The Old Pro - The bespectacled king finally has the luxury of an actual bowling attack to work his magic around. His spell changed everything as no Aussie managed to make anything of his seemingly innocuous but unplayable balls. They tried to hit him out and that's when the rot began.

World Cup 2015 - India Have Arrived

India's lead up into the World Cup was atrocious.

The defending champions couldn't win a single game in Australia with key batsmen misfiring, their bowling & fielding were both the absolute pits, and captain Dhoni looked as bored as ever. An easy team to write off as title favorites given this form, particularly when up against the trio of Australia-New Zealand-South Africa who seemed to have all facets of the game under control.

But in the wise words of Bill Lawry "... all of a sudden it's all happening!"

Thrashing Pakistan was no surprise...

If there is one match India will always get up for, it's the opportunity to add to the 5-0 World Cup tally of beating Pakistan every time. At times it has been regarded as more important than winning the cup itself!

The surprising element was just how calmly they went about it.  There was no Sehwag whacking Gul half volleys, Tendulkar carving Shoaib Akhtar for dinner, or Prasad destroying Sohail's stumps. This time it was all patience and precision, patiently building a foundation until the 35th over and smoothly accelerating towards the psychological 300 benchmark.

It's World Cup Time!

Just a matter of hours until the 2015 Cricket World Cup kicks off !!

And this time I won't be battling petty annoyances like time differences. This is without doubt the pinnacle event of cricket, the one tournament that demands undivided attention among all cricket fans.

I was 7 years old when the 1992 edition was hosted in Australia and New Zealand. Forget calling that a distant memory, it isn't a memory at all... and that makes this edition even more special with cricket's showcase event right here in our humble back yard.

Why Does India try to Sledge?

A week ago my call was 0-4 for India, and at 0-2 the whitewash is on!

Credit where it is due, India have competed quite well at times and in fact inexplicably threw away the Adelaide test which they should have at least drawn. How was that for a brain explosion, it was almost West Indies like. Nonetheless I have been impressed by Murali Vijay and Kohli, and expected worse.

Along came Brisbane, a place where Australia never loses and once again they didn't disappoint. But some hilarity stuck out, in particular India and their new found love for sledging.

Sledging is a cricket exclusive term, or as Steve Waugh termed it... "Mental Disintegration". The Aussies of old used it beautifully to defeat the opposition with mind games and end contests before they even started. Just ask any England team pre-2005 or Daryll Cullinan.

But it is important to realize the most important ingredient the Aussies had, the batting and bowling riches to make it work. The wonderful oxymoron Glenn McGrath is the best example, hurling expletives in the opposition's faces and yet delivering the same dour ball at the same generous pace patiently waiting for the batsman to crack.

Which brings us to India who it seems have adopted the same tactic, hey it worked for them why won't it work for us? This problem is, they are hopeless at it.

So what happened in Brisbane?

• Ishant Sharma, after being utterly thumped all day throws a few f-bombs when removing Steve Smith.  Note that Smith was yet to be dismissed in the series so far and was on 133. Note also that this is one of the most useless bowlers in the game today and it wasn't even a good delivery.
• Rohit Sharma and Superstar Virat greet Mitchell Johnson to the batting crease with some foul mouthing off, followed by some "bouncers" and "fast bowling" of the Indian variety. He proceeds to belt them for 13 fours and a six and then shows them how it's done with the ball including both Kohli (1 run) and Rohit (0 runs).

"Economy rate less than 5, in your face!"

Ladies and gentlemen, this is *not* how it's done.

Farewell Gambhir, Sehwag, Yuvraj & Friends

And so while India are being thumped by Australia (4-0 coming your way folks), they also announced their 30 man squad of World Cup 'probables'

Hang on a minute, thirty probables!? There are eleven members in a cricket team plus a water carrier, add four or five reserves and we have a touring party. What is the point in naming a probables list double the size of the group that will actually show up?

Here's why, its confirmation of who will not show up.

India's list of omissions is a strange one.  Sure I can understand the concept of 'out with the old and in with the new', but in Indian cricket? Not exactly spoiled with young riches are they?

Lets examine the miss list:

Zaheer Khan - Is very unlucky. This is the best fast bowler India has had since Kapil Dev, with the exception of maybe Srinath. He was a huge reason as to why they won the last world cup (more than Dhoni) and the other options are average other than maybe Bhuvaneshwar Kumar.  What was Zaheer's mistake? Not playing for the Chennai Super Kings?
Selection Credibility - 9/10

No love guys?

Yuvraj Singh - Another unlucky original from the famous 2003 campaign (and the famous2003 world cup final flop). He is still a class batsman and experience counts especially in alien conditions. They could have easily brought him back for one last hurrah a la Craig McMillan, but alas this is probably the end.
Selection Credibility - 8/10

Blame the Bouncer?

Every now and then, an event occurs within the confines of sport that transcends far beyond the normal boundaries. 

Sport exists to entertain, it has no other purpose.  And yet here we are faced with the tragedy of losing Phillip Hughes, a young man primed to become one of the senior Australian batsmen in the years to come.

Sadly we will never know what heights he might have scaled, it was surreal and hard-hitting to see the 'died' section on his Cricinfo page.

Understandably there has been a lot of talk and debate surrounding this tragedy. 

It is natural to seek an avenue of blame such as:

• Should the bouncer be illegal?
• Is the batsman protected enough?
• Is the bowler at fault, or perhaps fast bowling in general?

England Deserve to Lose It All

There was a time where it was fun to root for England, namely when they went about toppling the unbeatable Australians in 2005. The underdogs beating the Aussies at their own game playing with aggressive swagger and style.  It was great.

But that was nearly a decade ago. The so called English dominance of test cricket, brief as it was, is going through a painfully slow death where they can no longer play Ishant Sharma. 

And they absolutely deserve it.

lol

There is a difference between the once great Australia and the once "great" England.  Australia were ridiculously good and they knew it, they could field three cricket teams who could blow apart anybody that dared to turn up. One would scream out for those precious moments when another team actually got the better of them (the aforementioned Ashes 2005, a prime example).

The Kiwi Corruption Files

Corruption. IPL.

Ironic that these two are simultaneously headlining the world of cricket today. Oddly enough it's not India nor Pakistan who are at the forefront of the latest scandals to emerge, instead the beacon is shining on the calm and friendly backwaters of New Zealand cricket.  Who would have thought?

How Bad is it?
Whether corruption exists or not is not even a question. It's there, it's been there for a couple of decades at least. It's been there in plain sight in front of administrators, players and audiences alike. Until recently all have chosen to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it's not real. We all stand with our eyes closed and fingers crossed with an elephant in the room, chanting "if I can't see you, you can't see me".

The real question is not if the elephant is there, but instead just how gigantic it is. I'm not even sure I want to know. If it's so bad that the ICC pretend it doesn't happen, the full truth will get ugly.

An example of the ignorance: the famous India-Pakistan World Cup Semi Final. The ICC watched on all smiles as arguably the two most corrupt teams in the sport engaged in a scripted farce.

The Butt-Asif-Amir affair had undeniable evidence, only then was something done about it. What about those hundreds of cases of obvious under-performing and rigging that didn't have concrete evidence?

But How Did New Zealand Get Involved?
Before the IPL kicked off there was this awful thing called the ICL. This 'rebel' league was basically a hunting ground for disgruntled ex-players to make easy undeserved money through staged exhibition games which nobody cared about. Heck even the ICC wanted nothing to do with it, and that says something.

And as far as disgruntled ex-players goes, New Zealand had plenty to offer. We fielded enough players to almost form a special New Zealand ICL Team:

- Astle
- Cairns
- Hamish Marshall (remember him?)
- McMillan
- Harris
- Parore
- Bond
- Andre Adams
- Tuffey

... and in plain sight we have a potential list of corrupt kiwi players. And in fact a pretty solid team, that lot would probably have beaten the real black caps. Notice how almost all of them disappeared completely from the cricket world other than to take on match fixing allegations. The exceptions being Bond and McMillan.

Of that list, three guys have been named as possible riggers of the game. Lets spotlight these:

Lou Vincent

Who?
He kicked off his career in fine style by smashing a McGrath-Gillespie-Lee-Warne attack around (in Perth no less). Destined for big things, it instead was a career of licorice all-sorts consisting of handing out towellings as an opener, some wicketkeeping, a patient double hundred against Sri Lanka (he was dropped from tests for good not long later) and finally re-emerging from the IPL as a T20 gun for hire wielding a ridiculous mongoose bat.

Thank god it never took off

When Kiwi's Soared Above India

My initial prediction of 4-1 to New Zealand was met mostly with polite ridicule. Against the world number one ranked team? The World Cup and Champions Trophy holders no less? Blasphemous.

Courtesy of Sir Jadeja I narrowly missed out, 4-0 however at least landed in the right ball park!

But why would anybody have backed New Zealand?

The Hesson-McCullum partnership is really onto something, despite it starting off with theTaylorgate scandal. Since then Taylor is back and poking his tongue out more than ever and that's not all, New Zealand have constructed a team based on consistent selections, depth in all positions, and a splash of genuine pace along with the usual outstanding fielding and sportsmanship.

© Getty

In the bad old days they only had fielding and sportsmanship, but now this team is a threat in all three formats. With the World Cup around the corner and that too at home, everybody should be on their guard against this dark horse of cricket that might just steal the show.

A Letter from the DRS: Its Not My Fault

Dear readers, I can understand your hatred.

After a century-long tradition of on field umpires dictating play, you the cricket audience have been up in arms about my introduction to the game.  I am the Decision Review System, and I am here to pledge my case.

I have been tasked to improve on the human eye, I understand you make mistakes so I am available to you to make sure horrid umpiring decisions do not dictate our great game.  But instead I have been the subject of condemnation and torrents of abuse.

The simple fact is, I am merely misunderstood. My situation is analogous to building a house whose floor fell through and then blaming the hammer.

So who's fault is it really?

India
For your "overwhelming" support. Thanks.

Your Idiotic Rules
Who came up with the bright idea of limited referrals? If you are going to impose a limit, at least be realistic and give three or more.  I hear you argue that you don't want the players to waste them on 50/50 calls, but now we've landed the ludicrous situation where everyone including me knows its out except the poor sod on field who muffed it. But is it his fault? Alas no, its mine somehow.

Your Idiotic Captains
A smart captain, Mr Cook, uses me sparingly because of the aforementioned silly referral limits. He removes the howlers and the howlers only, anything that's iffy he goes with the on-field call. And voila, I hand him reviews for the rainy days.

A silly captain, Mr Clarke, uses me any which way he pleases and burns all his team reviews. When the real howler comes along I am no help.  And who's fault is that? Alas, mine somehow.

Shane Watson
The bane of my existence! Stop this blonde idiot from abusing me!

"Blasphemous... review it" © Getty

That goes for you too Mr. Sehwag, I haven't forgotten the World Cup 2011.

The ICC Champions Trophy History (and Preview)

So here we are in England for the last edition of the ICC Knockout / Mini World Cup / ICC Champions Trophy / Thing.

This is a strange little tournament purposely offset in between the 'real' fifty over world cups, designed to be a quick-smart affair all over in a couple of weeks (take note IPL). However fifty over cricket must die according to the powers that be, and the idea has now been thrown out and we won't see it again.

I'm going to disagree with the majority and say that I like the tournament. This would be the only other time that all the leading teams of world cricket will be assembled.  That was until the rise of T20 cricket came along and demanded its own little World Cup, and the other problem is that a couple of the tournaments did suck and slipped in and out of memory without much of a second thought.  Here's hoping for a memorable showing in the next fortnight to resurrect interest.

Let's have a quick look at its history:

1998 - South Africa Finally Wins Something
... and it's the only cricketing tournament they have ever won. There was a Tendulkar pummelling that eliminated Australia, but apart from that it was a pretty ho-hum affair.

2000 - The Cairns Show
India were on a nice roll courtesy of a pair of Ganguly tons and young renegades on debut namely Yuvraj Singh and Zaheer Khan, both of who were responsible for again dismantling Australia in the quarter final. The script was set for India, but they hit a roadblock in the form of a "how did they get this far anyway" New Zealand team.  Chris Cairns fired one of his few shots as a gun batsman, and stomped all over a lazy Indian performance in the final.

I remember that day because it was one of those rare occasions the patented Fleming Frown disappeared, at least for a while.

"Why couldn't I be Australian". © Getty

Oh Black Caps... How Ye Flatter to Deceive

Seriously, you want this guy?  © Getty

It was a cool winters evening in New Zealand and here I was, a humble supporter tuning into the late night cricket, brimming with optimism at the prospect of chasing down a reachable 239 to achieve glorious victory at Lords.  We had come fresh of a hard fought 0-0 stalemate at home with the 'moral victory' (if such a thing counts for anything at all), the apple was ripe for the picking to give it back to the motherland at no other than the home of cricket itself.

Mere minutes later alas, it was 29-6 at lunch and I amongst the few cheering the visitors on had no choice but to cave in and choose the infinitely more comforting warmth of the bed-sheets.

What happened?

Jesse Ryder - When Sport Crosses the Line

At the time of writing, Jesse Ryder is fighting for his life after a completely cowardly and baseless attack by a group of terrible individuals. It is a dark day in international cricket, and it is not the first. One of the alleged and completely senseless reasons behind this is that it was possibly a "Jesse Hate Fight", which brings up the crux of this matter.

How far is too far? When does being a sports fan cross the line to sheer madness? It baffles me that somebody could possible justify a hate fight over a sport. I would call myself a cricket fan, that doesn't mean I would ever make it a personal issue regarding international cricketers and I am sure the vast majority fall into this category. It is the minority we have to address here, this is where we draw the line between fan and fanatic.

Violence in cricket isn't anything new, we saw the tragic murder of coach Bob Woolmer in 2007 and the Sri Lankan team bus attacked in Pakistan in 2009, remembering that the entire team barely escaped with their lives. We constantly see in India street riots, the burning of effigies, players' homes attacked. What did any of that ever achieve? What drives people to resort to such lunacy over what is after all only a game?

Understanding the Calypso Collapso

Cricket often has some strange and unexplained phenomenon, for example:

• How Ajit Agarkar can get a century at Lords.
• How Michael Yardy was allowed to play international cricket.
• Why somebody would pay Glenn "The Big Show" Maxwell one million bucks.

But there is one cricketing mystery that continuously trumps them all, one team that can truly define the term enigma in their consistently baffling pursuits on the cricket pitch. This is none other than the West Indies.

Rewind about 30 years and these guys used to be absolutely unstoppable. They practically invented swagger, power cricket and tasteful arrogance. Some stonewalled all day while, others bludgeoned bowlers for fun, and they had a seemingly never ending assembly line of fast bowlers and swashbucklers. 

Until it well... ended.

© Getty

Most teams around the world are right on top or consistently crap, but how many can slide from one to the other in the very same match? There is no doubt that the West Indies are the undisputed king of collapses. Lets take a look back and analyse the concept of "The Calypso Collapso".

The 'Exciting' Future of Domestic T20 Cricket

It was a lovely morning when the president of the ICC woke up from a morning slumber greeted with a warm cup of mocha, and a personal letter outlining yet another amazingly successful T20 competition. This letter was from his Technical Advisor of Cricketing Innovations, the mastermind behind the IPL concept, super-subs and overseas cheerleaders.

It raised very real concerns about the future of our beloved T20 sport...

As successful as this newest, dominant brand of cricket is, we as innovators must continue to be one step ahead of the game and the fans, and ensure that we secure the future of our exciting brand. The gradual takeover of ODI and Test cricket is all but sealed, but our job is not done, our game needs more pop, more zing and more buzz, and here how we are going to do it:

One League to Rule Them All!
We combine the IPL, SLPL, BPL, BBL, EAPL, C20, A20 and HRV... and create what I call the "League of Leagues"... or "LOL" if you will. This will be a bi-annual six month event (see what I did there!) featuring ten teams from each league in a league of its own, producing a league table topper or 'league champion' for the league as well as 'league runner up' from each league.

These two teams from each league will form the LOL Champions League. It will feature a round robin which will produce a 'super league champion' before running into the playoffs section featuring the top 8 teams called the 'gold team league play-offs'. All (yes all) the remaining loser teams will be divided into 'silver team league play-offs' and 'wooden team league play-offs' to ensure nobody feels left out, and we will have three LOL champions every year and these three will play each other in a winner take all to unveil the 'platinum super league champion'.

The 2013 Cricket Wish List

I'm not sure who this letter is addressed to, the ICC? The Cricketing Gods? Santa?

Whoever it may be, I have been a good cricket fanatic last year and I feel I am entitled to see the metaphorical stockings hanging over my fireplace filled with cricketing goodies. So here goes then, my wish list:

1. New Zealand Survive 5 Days

Ouch. © AFP

An administrators nightmare, the recent South Africa series had whole days featuring an empty stadium. Wouldn't it be nice to see my home country not embarrass ourselves and actually survive the new ball, build a real innings and not concede 500 all the time? South Africa didn't even bother sledging as Vernon Philander aptly put it, "I don't think you have to say much if they are 45 all out".



What will probably happen: 
I may get my wish but only because the Black Caps made friends with some rain clouds.

India vs England - The Dhoni Backfire

The dinner menu for MS Dhoni this week will be a nice large slice of humble pie.

India were back on track in 'The Revenge Series', having been drubbed in England and Australia in last year they got their home formula nicely sorted:

• Prepare a pitch with less life than Valle de Luna
• The batsmen smash a total of 500+
• The spinners do the rest

I am Dhoni, hear me roar. © AFP

And there you have it, twirl the ball in the same place all day long and wait for mistakes, it worked gloriously all throughout the nineties and even Australia couldn't do anything about it. The Ganguly era was a rare time when India learned to compete overseas, but last years 8-0 saw a revert back to old school tactics to at least make sure that they could wallop teams in their playground and feel a bit better about life.

Only it wasn't enough, not for a 'frustrated' MS Dhoni. 

He wanted more. The test match dragged on until the fifth day thanks to Alistair Cook, who is the real deal. The spinners had to bowl mammoth spells, and unlike the lion hearted Kumble who used to do it without fuss, our captain was

Why Kallis is Greater Than Ponting

As we witness the ongoing duel between Australia and South Africa, two of the greatest cricketers of our generation have come face to face perhaps for the last time, Jacques Kallis and Ricky Ponting.  It should be no surprise though which of the two has chalked up scores of 147, 49 and an injury filled 58, and which has scored 0, 4 and 18.  Equally its no surprise that which castled the other on the first morning, and his injury helped lead to absolute carnage later that day.

Ponting may have (ridiculously) won the award for the best player of the 2000s, but the truth is Kallis is far far better. Here's why:

International T20 is the only good T20

Regular readers of my column will know by now some of my pet peeves:

• Cricket cheerleaders 
• MS Dhoni batting promotions
• The Shahid Afridi wicket celebration
• And above all, Twenty20 cricket overkill

However the recently concluded International T20 World Cup changed my mind about one thing. There is such thing as quality, watchable Twenty20 cricket and this quality only comes from one stage, the international stage. 

Therefore my hate has been redirected now purely to domestic Twenty20 cricket, which really is nothing more than a batting circus. The recent World Cup had one key ingredient that the IPL and its various simpleton cousins do not have, top class players participating in actual teams.

Finally we get to see batsmen playing proper strokes built on technique and skill instead of swinging madly like a wood cutter on steroids. Finally we saw bowlers being able to contain them instead of serving up a volley of garbage. And most importantly, finally we saw teams playing for national pride rather than a meaningless mishmash team of licorice all-sorts.

This wasn't the IPL, this was real cricket.

 Wait... who are you guys again? © Assc Press

If Cricketers Were Cartoon Characters

Thank you IPL, for grinding cricket down to a screeching halt.

This is the time of year where instead of the *real* game we have an exhibition of cricket ball abuse featuring teams tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum while us poor fans and purists have been forced to revisit our old highlights collections, banish cricinfo.com to the wilderness, and suffer severe writers block.

Devoid of inspiration, what must the dear old blogger resort to?

Trivia!

Some months ago there was an internet obsession with dopplegangers, or lookalikes. Unfortunately most of the time it was clutching on straws, heck people tell me I look like Jehan Mubarak, big deal. And truth be told human to human lookalikes are a tad boring, so we see the same person twice... we've seen twins before and not the Schwarzenegger-deVito kind either.

So instead I present to you, animated and cartoon contemporaries of famous (and not so famous) cricketers of recent times.

Ryan Sidebottom is Sideshow Bob
While one plotted to destroy Bart Simpson, the other plotted to destroy New Zealand batting line-ups.

  

Darren Lehmann is Shrek
The team even nick-named him Shrek, so everyone is in on this one.