World Cup 2015: Short Notes - 15th Feb

Today was the big one. The clash of the neighboring continental giants and fierce rivals. After a spirited show, Zimbabwe came up short against their more fancied rivals. 

• Zimbabwe have already surpassed expectations. And are now looking a strong contender for a knock-out berth.
• South Africa stuttered initially but their depth in batting rescued them from a precarious situation into an unbeatable one.
• David Miller & Jean Paul Duminy are now the proud owners of the record for the highest 5th wicket partnership in ODI history. A record which went by almost unnoticed because all eyes were on the other game going on in Adelaide.

Which brings me to the real game of the day.

• It was supposed to be the biggest game of the World Cup, yet inspite of the few nervous moments, India walked away with their biggest ever World Cup victory against Pakistan. 
• 6-Nil. इस बार भी नहीं आया मौका।
• India still not managing to make full utilization of the end overs. This was something of a bugbear for India last time around as well.
• DRS controversy made another appearance. Again its not the system, its the people handling it and their awareness/ignorance of the rules regarding its usage which is creating all the trouble.
• Sohail Khan appealed for LBW on his very first delivery to Shikhar Dhawan. The umpire signalled not out and Sohail immediately called for DRS while Misbah rushed to recall the DRS review. Fortunately the umpire listened to Misbah as the replay showed the ball hitting Dhawan bang in the middle of his bat. 
• Yasir Shah can easily pass off as Lionel Messi.
• This Indian habit off slowing down when approaching a century (e.g. Kohli today) could land us in major trouble in the future. 
• Sir Jadeja's legend got enhanced further when he strolled for run and Pakistan had ample time to run him out, not once but twice and both times they missed.
• Misbah left last man standing. A scene oft-repeated in the past few years, specially against India.
• A for Akmal, B for Ball, C for Catch, D for Drop, An Akmal putting down a catch, another recurring theme for Pakistan
• And finally a joke to sum up Pakistan's misery

Why Does India try to Sledge?

A week ago my call was 0-4 for India, and at 0-2 the whitewash is on!

Credit where it is due, India have competed quite well at times and in fact inexplicably threw away the Adelaide test which they should have at least drawn. How was that for a brain explosion, it was almost West Indies like. Nonetheless I have been impressed by Murali Vijay and Kohli, and expected worse.

Along came Brisbane, a place where Australia never loses and once again they didn't disappoint. But some hilarity stuck out, in particular India and their new found love for sledging.

Sledging is a cricket exclusive term, or as Steve Waugh termed it... "Mental Disintegration". The Aussies of old used it beautifully to defeat the opposition with mind games and end contests before they even started. Just ask any England team pre-2005 or Daryll Cullinan.

But it is important to realize the most important ingredient the Aussies had, the batting and bowling riches to make it work. The wonderful oxymoron Glenn McGrath is the best example, hurling expletives in the opposition's faces and yet delivering the same dour ball at the same generous pace patiently waiting for the batsman to crack.

Which brings us to India who it seems have adopted the same tactic, hey it worked for them why won't it work for us? This problem is, they are hopeless at it.

So what happened in Brisbane?

• Ishant Sharma, after being utterly thumped all day throws a few f-bombs when removing Steve Smith.  Note that Smith was yet to be dismissed in the series so far and was on 133. Note also that this is one of the most useless bowlers in the game today and it wasn't even a good delivery.
• Rohit Sharma and Superstar Virat greet Mitchell Johnson to the batting crease with some foul mouthing off, followed by some "bouncers" and "fast bowling" of the Indian variety. He proceeds to belt them for 13 fours and a six and then shows them how it's done with the ball including both Kohli (1 run) and Rohit (0 runs).

"Economy rate less than 5, in your face!"

Ladies and gentlemen, this is *not* how it's done.

The Ashes Story - From A Punch to Piss

The oldest cricketing rivalry for probably the smallest sporting trophy. England & Australia lined up to contest the first of the two Ashes contests this season. A short summary of what an Indian fan saw in passing of the Ashes. 

It all began with a punch. As is rightly said - "Nothing good happens after two in the night". David Warner threw a punch at Joe Root in a bar during the Champions Trophy . No one got hurt. But the impact was felt later. Warner was dispatched to SA - a very appropriate punishment, steeped in tradition and reminiscent of the colonial times. The coach got fired. New fellows were added to the touring party as replacements. In short, an Australian camp in total disarray just days before the start of the series. On the other hand England became the runners-up Champions of the Champions Trophy.

A Letter from the DRS: Its Not My Fault

Dear readers, I can understand your hatred.

After a century-long tradition of on field umpires dictating play, you the cricket audience have been up in arms about my introduction to the game.  I am the Decision Review System, and I am here to pledge my case.

I have been tasked to improve on the human eye, I understand you make mistakes so I am available to you to make sure horrid umpiring decisions do not dictate our great game.  But instead I have been the subject of condemnation and torrents of abuse.

The simple fact is, I am merely misunderstood. My situation is analogous to building a house whose floor fell through and then blaming the hammer.

So who's fault is it really?

India
For your "overwhelming" support. Thanks.

Your Idiotic Rules
Who came up with the bright idea of limited referrals? If you are going to impose a limit, at least be realistic and give three or more.  I hear you argue that you don't want the players to waste them on 50/50 calls, but now we've landed the ludicrous situation where everyone including me knows its out except the poor sod on field who muffed it. But is it his fault? Alas no, its mine somehow.

Your Idiotic Captains
A smart captain, Mr Cook, uses me sparingly because of the aforementioned silly referral limits. He removes the howlers and the howlers only, anything that's iffy he goes with the on-field call. And voila, I hand him reviews for the rainy days.

A silly captain, Mr Clarke, uses me any which way he pleases and burns all his team reviews. When the real howler comes along I am no help.  And who's fault is that? Alas, mine somehow.

Shane Watson
The bane of my existence! Stop this blonde idiot from abusing me!

"Blasphemous... review it" © Getty

That goes for you too Mr. Sehwag, I haven't forgotten the World Cup 2011.

If I were N Srinivasan

“Hmm….go on…”

These days, the most hated person in the cricket world is not a non-performing cricketer or a bumbling umpire; that privilege goes to a soft spoken, bespectacled business man from Chennai. Narayanaswami Srinivasan, or N Srinivasan (or, Srini mama as “affectionately” known throughout the social networks) is the current BCCI chief, which in turn makes him the overlord of all international cricket bodies (allegedly). It takes a special kind of talent (sorry, Rohit) to be universally disdained by anyone related to cricket. Indian fans hate him for reasons pertaining to IPL, DRS and an autocratic approach to governing the Board. Non-Indian fans hate him for reasons pertaining to IPL, DRS and an autocratic approach which influences the governing of other national cricket boards. It is nice to know that in a cricket world divided by misplaced nationalistic fervor, we can all agree that the BCCI chief is a tool. And that Jade Dernbach’s tattoos make Mitchell Johnson’s look like a work of Picasso. Don’t even get me started on that.

The 2013 Cricket Wish List

I'm not sure who this letter is addressed to, the ICC? The Cricketing Gods? Santa?

Whoever it may be, I have been a good cricket fanatic last year and I feel I am entitled to see the metaphorical stockings hanging over my fireplace filled with cricketing goodies. So here goes then, my wish list:

1. New Zealand Survive 5 Days

Ouch. © AFP

An administrators nightmare, the recent South Africa series had whole days featuring an empty stadium. Wouldn't it be nice to see my home country not embarrass ourselves and actually survive the new ball, build a real innings and not concede 500 all the time? South Africa didn't even bother sledging as Vernon Philander aptly put it, "I don't think you have to say much if they are 45 all out".



What will probably happen: 
I may get my wish but only because the Black Caps made friends with some rain clouds.

India-New Zealand 2012 Tests Review

The 2012-13 home season began early for India, in fact the earliest till date. New Zealand were not  expected to be more than a warm-up for the tougher challenges coming up in the form of England & Australia. Here is the immediate post-series review.

• If India had been on the receiving end of as many dubious decisions as the Kiwis had, am pretty sure enough hue and cry would have been raised and the umpires would have been removed from officiating in any India matches in the future. But hardly hear the Kiwis complaining.
• For dodgy umpiring there is a very simple solution which for some reason ICC does not want to use. Give review powers to the 3rd umpire. Any "obvious" error can be overturned at the the 1st replay itself. Marginal calls stay with the field umpires.
• The Kiwi bowling lineup of Martin, Bracewell, Boult & Southee can trouble many a batting lineup. But their batting lineup remains worrying.