Hare and Tortoise: Version 2019

It was decided to hold the much discussed Hare and Tortoise race once again. The hare felt it was cheated on earlier occasions. It believed it deserved to win the trophy because racing was invented by Harekind. All the supporters of hare said, "Give the trophy to the hare." Thus the race began.

Old habits die hard. Hare continued to hop and pop in fits and bursts. Tortoise continued with single minded dedication. After an eight and a half hour marathon, Tortoise crossed the finish line. But wait, by hopping and sliding through some lucky slopes, the hare too had crossed the line, exactly at the same time. It was a photo finish.

It was decided to hold a tie breaker. A shorter 10 minutes super race was conducted. Once again, Tortoise went ahead with same calm and composure and hare strutted toward finish line. Once again, the hare and tortoise finished over the line in an exact photo finish. After close to 9 hours of running, there was no difference between the hare and the tortoise. They had run the same distance twice over, finishing exactly in same time in both races.

"Enough is enough," said the International Clowns Council (ICC in short) that conducted the race and formulated the rules, "We've had enough evidence to say the hare is the winner." The agonised supporters of the tortoise asked, "But how ? Both of them ran same distance and covered it in same time twice over. Then how can one be declared a winner ? That is unfair! "

"Everything is fair in war and rule books," snapped the ICC, "and the rule book says, when you cannot decide a winner even after a super race, we decide the winner depending upon who hopped more number of times. It is a clear mismatch we would say. The hare hopped far too many times while the tortoise just raced along. Because the hare hopped more number of times, we declare the hare as winner. Give the trophy to the hare !"

That's when the supporters of the sport decided to call it, Hare And Tortoise Championship, Hopping (HATCH). Thus, history was re-written and the hare, who had never won a trophy before, was given the trophy. It appeared as if the entire Championship was HATCHed just to give that elusive trophy to hare, at any cost !

PS: In another news elsewhere in a parallel universe, England won the Boundary Hitting World Cup against New Zealand.

Govind Raj Shenoy for DieHard Cricket Fans