Shoaib Akhtar Speaks (The Truth?)

Autobiographies really are something. It is a time when self important sporting celebrities get to wave their creative pencil and indulge themselves in a self-made ego trip. Most of them are ignored as they lack the creativity, or the writing skill, or are just plain boring outside of the game. Then you get the select few personalities who carry off interesting laughs and anecdotes and make the experience a pleasure to read.

And then there is Shoaib Akthar.

Anything less than borderline insanity from this man would have been a let down, and lo and behold he has delivered. When it comes to stirring up a storm in a tea cup, he is a natural. Unlike Afridi though, Shoaib is articulate, and his points dive into grey and debatable areas instead of being dismissed as tripe.

What did he have to say in the aptly titled “Controversially Yours”? Does he make a point or is he simply a bag of wind?

1. Sachin and Dravid Are Not Match Winners

In Dravid’s case, total nonsense. He single handedly won games for India in both forms of the game and was often the last man standing amongst dominoes. To suggest that Dravid “didn’t know the art of finishing the game” is nothing more than a cheap shot at the great man. Credibility 0/10.

Above the belt pelase. © Getty Images

In Sachin’s case though, maybe he has a point. Sachin through the nineties was a frustrated lone figure who got nil support from his inept team mates. You can’t fault him for being unable to do it all alone, everybody else were looking after their own pockets. The Sachin of the 00′s was a different figure though, he finally had adequate batting backup and was allowed to pile up the runs carefully. Guilty of being a run glut, yes. Guilty of not winning matches, it can also be argued. He has far less Dravid’s and Laxman’s in his innings vault. Credibility 5/10.

2. Sachin Was Scared Of Him.
Rubbish. This is the guy who manfully fought Wasim & Waqar, Lee & McGrath, Ambrose & Walsh, Steve Bucknor… the list goes on. While not always coming off the winner of the battles, never ever backed down, be it 16 or 36 years old. Why should he be scared of Shoaib? Has he forgotten the 03 World Cup? Credibility 0/10.

3. The IPL Cheated Him
Believable, and he won’t be the last. The IPL is built on a foundation of masses, greed and corruption. He joined a team run by an arrogant Bollywood star in a tournament run by an arrogant nobody Lalit Modi. With a set-up like that, it was inevitable. A paint job will only cover the cracks in a dam, soon this whole circus will be flooded by a crashing wave. Shoaib should have known better than to take part. Credibility 8/10.

4. Everyone Ball Tampers
Correction, Pakistan ball tampers. And no it shouldn’t be legal, where do you draw the line, a maximum fingernail length in the ICC code of conduct? My only hope is that the pioneers of swing such as Imran aren’t exposed to have resorted to dirty methods in the past, although I get the feeling it just may happen. Credibility 8/10.

Michael Jackson impersonations are perfectly legal though. © AFP

5. Shoaib Malik Shouldn’t Have Been Captain
A stab at his own team mate? Only he would dare, but again he actually has a point here. Malik was an above average ODI batsman at best, with a shaky test career and a dodgy bowling action, with an eye for female tennis players. Why was he made captain? On paper it looks like a nothing decision, possibly influenced by those that favoured Malik. But in reality one must also consider that Pakistani teams were often unstable and a logical choice for captain was not always clear. Again debatable.Credibility 7/10.

6. He Was Humiliated

Shoaib didn’t spare anyone, even lashing out at Wasim Akram and partially blaming him for not fulfilling his career to its potential. I’m not sure how big a part politics played, but they were certainly present as he was inexplicably robbed of a swansong finish against India in the World Cup semi final. It must be said though that despite whatever corruption and vendettas he may have had to face, he was an unlikeable and destructive person to begin with. Most of what we had to put up with was a result of his own actions and he has nobody to blame. Credibility 5/10.

Surprisingly all in all, the points Shoaib Akhtar made in his autobiography were not entirely a load of pies. While dealing out low blows to Indian batsman, he dealt to his former team mates and management with equal measure and venom. Will it have an impact? Probably not, Shoaib Akhtar lashing out is really about as credible as…

This. © Getty Images

Contributed by : Varun Prasad
Original Post : The Cricket Musings

Master Of Puppets

I just spotted a great post by Tim Holt, it is called Cricket Marketing 101- Use The Name Of Sachin Tendulkar, in which Tim de-constructs the cheap and obvious strategies employed by Shoaib Akhtar’s PR consultants, who use the name of Sachin Tendulkar and the remote-controllability of his easily manipulable zealots, to increase the sales of his silly little book, and the hype around it. On this occasion Tim also mentions how bloggers more or less blatantly exploit Sachin’s name to trigger a deluge of blog visitors.

From the top of my head I can name several blogs who played that card. I did that, too, as a rather obvious pisstake on this strategy of “no given f*k + little effort = many clicks”; put Sachin in the title and gazed at the jump in visitor numbers with disblief. It is hilarious, and it gives you a feeling of power over the masses, to summon them just by pronouncing the magical two words, but at the same time it is also scary to get overrun by a raging mob, and logically copping a fair bit of stick from them as well. Tim, in his article, calls them fanbois, I used to call them “Sachin zombies” and Sachin the “zombie master”, and if you adopt the role of a high priest, by singing his gospel and giving the Sachin sermon, you can control them as well, which is exactly what these bloggers are doing. The same crazy effect does, BTW, also apply to Shahid Afridi.

Which means that the current constellation of Tendulkar, Akhtar and Afridi involved in one and the same incident is getting mirrored as a superangry multi-climax in the visitor figures of any cricket-related medium. This peak in the traffic stats, and subsequent slump, also seems to suggest the other way round that the respective audience doesn’t care about much else (but I guess most people I personally talk to are “meta” cricket fans, who are interested in cricket in general and will click any headline that promises a good read).

What I find interesting as well is how different the priorities of the fanbois are, if you compare Sachin and Afridi as players, their image, personality, reputation and aura, and what they have accomplished in their careers. But I guess it takes a bunch of bored sociologists to analyse the motivation of the two kinds of fanatics, and their reasons for picking these two specific, opposite types of national sports icons to idolise.

But back to Tendulkar, the tactic of utilising his name while actually not giving a shit could be observed excellently when Sachin had made his ODI 200. Everybody wanted to have their share of the traffic cake, and Sachin posts kept popping up on blogs on which you would otherwise not find a single article about him, let alone India in general. Some even posted two posts in a row about him, making it fairly obvious that they were just trying to stay at the top of everybody’s blogrolls *ahem*.

Most bloggers are amateurs, hobby writers who don’t earn a single penny with their texts. So why this frenzy, this anxiety, if you couldn’t care less about the player? Apparently the blogger’s currency, in which his or her efforts get rewarded, is attention, reputation, response, approval, and the great summoning powers described above; measurable by the number of clicks, comments and shares. Shoaib Akhtar however is milking the holy Sachin cow for real monetary profit, measurable in his bank account, and willingly aided by anybody who picks up his cheap manoeuvre and helps him deliver the word to the potentially outraged.

I would say Akhtar 1, Bloggers 0

And while we, the media, the bloggers, readers, consumers and Akhtar, are getting lost in this secondary theatre of war, there is a guy whose market value benefits most from these permanently and continuously bubbling emotions, which provide him with seemingly eternal public omnipresence… his name is The Little Master, and he needn’t even pull the strings 

Contributed by Wes
Follow Wes on Twitter @WesPFCNFS
Wes blogs about cricket @ playforcountrynotforself

Akhtar strikes, Afridi bites

Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago.

Shoaib Akhtar is no stranger to controversy. He made an entire career out of it. When he was not busy shattering stumps and taking off on airplane celebrations, he spent his time fighting doping allegations, chucking scandals, ball tampering suggestions and even an unfortunate case of genital warts! He never shared a good equation with most of his team-mates as Mohammed Asif and Inzamam will testify. So what do you expect from him when he is finally unshackled from the restraints of being an active player and is all set to release his autobiography?? The book is titled, “Controversially yours”, for God’s sake! I would have been more shocked if there was no eyebrow-raising stories in the book.

Autobiographies need to have controversies, if they have to sell. Just ask Herschelle Gibbs. In Akhtar’s case, he has served a generous dolloping of controversy, ranging from candid admissions about ball tampering to passing incendiary comments about Tendulkar, Dravid, Akram and some of his own team-mates. Lost in the hullabaloo over the Tendulkar-Dravid comments is the fact that Akhtar has generously praised Ganguly and Dhoni for their leadership skills; but then again, how do you promote your book’s publicity based on that?

When there is a controversy involving India-Pakistan cricket, can the great Afridi be far behind? I have already written about him here, and my feelings since then have not changed much. While most other Pakistani cricketers have rubbished Akhtar’s tales, Afridi has backed him on his observations over Tendulkar, generously adding that Sachin’s legs used to ‘shiver’ when facing him. Setting aside the fact that this is hard to visualize, it is mighty impressive that Tendulkar manage to score a brilliant 98 in the 2003 World Cup and some impressive knocks in the tour of Pakistan in the following year – all this while on ‘shivering legs syndrome’!

Look, I’m not dissing either Akhtar or Afridi here. It is their right to express their opinion, whether most people agree with them or not. If they feel that Tendulkar is scared of Akhtar or that Dravid is not a match-winner, so be it. If you think otherwise, go ahead and express that as well. It is not a compulsion that everyone should shower glowing praises on Tendulkar, or have an unanimously good opinion about Dravid (though it would be hard to differ in this regard!). The fact is, when people look back twenty, thirty years from now, they will see that the records and accomplishments speak for themselves. There is no need to fly into nationalistic rage and degrade others’ achievements. It is noteworthy that the men at the center of the storm – Tendulkar and Dravid – have refused to comment on this, while others speak for and against them. Perhaps, there is a lesson to learn from them here.

Benny for DieHard Cricket Fans
Follow Benny on Twitter @tracerbullet007

Zimbabwe’s second chance in Cricket

Sport certainly cannot be the most significant thing on one’s mind especially when something as simple as the cost of a loaf of bread goes into millions. Cricket though is slowly beginning to change that notion in Zimbabwe. Despite the decline of cricket in Zimbabwe, the sport has managed to hold its ground and is now seeing a resurrection of sorts courtesy a bunch of surprising victories.

To understand Zimbabwe’s current situation it is important to draw a parallel to West Indies’s condition in the early 1970’s. The men from the Caribbean islands wanted the world to know that they existed and more importantly wanted to show the world that people must be considered without any discrimination. The right to equality was the main agenda on every West Indian’s mind at that time and they wanted to use cricket as their way of expressing that very right. Moreover they wanted to use cricket as a way to break away from colonialism and tell the world that they were just as good as everyone else, in fact they went the extra mile and dominated world cricket for a considerable period. The driving factor that led them to being so successful was the fact that they had their backs to the wall and they had a burning desire to propagate the idea of “West Indies” being an integral part of the world.

Zimbabwe now finds itself in a similar situation. After bursting onto the international circuit as a team to watch out for, Zimbabwe fell prey to political unrest that resulted in several teams, including England and Australia, cutting off cricketing ties. To add to the already existent woes, a barren period of six years as far as playing Test matches is concerned resulted in the country losing its Test ranking. Cricket and Zimbabwe, for most parts of the decade starting the year 2000, became antonyms and the country was known less for sport and more for its rapidly inflating economy. Now Zimbabweans clearly have their backs to the wall and desperately need to propagate the idea of their nation being an integral part of the world. Sport and cricket is certainly one way for them to go about doing just that and the only way they can do it is by breeding success in the way that West Indies did in the 1970’s.

For starters, Zimbabwe has begun their second life rather pleasantly. A fight was all that would have been expected of them even when they took on the lowest rank Test nation – Bangladesh. Those expectations were soon surpassed when Zimbabwe actually went on to defeat Bangladesh quite convincingly in the one off Test match by a margin of 150 runs. Surely a one off Test match doesn’t prove much but it does show some promise. That promise was then restored by the players in the ODI series when Zimbabwe pummeled Bangladesh to come out victorious in the first three matches of the five match series, eventually going on to win it 3-2. The success against Bangladesh is a small step towards resurrecting a damaged cricketing career as a nation and Zimbabwe now need to carry this small step forward. Even though they lost all the matches to Pakistan, but they were not simply blown away as one would have expected. In some matches they came close to winning.

Small steps merging into larger ones is exactly what Zimbabwe must look to do and the fact of the matter is that at this point they certainly have the talent and experience to do it. When it comes to experience the current captain Brendon Taylor has bundles of it and he is probably getting to the peak of his cricketing career which was highlighted after he registered his first Test century in the game against Bangladesh. Brian Vitori became the first bowler to take ten wickets in his first two ODIs. What gets a team going though is the heart and appetite for the game and no one has shown this more in this Zimbabwean line up than the wicket-keeper batsman Tatenda Taibu. Besides all these qualities that Zimbabwe already possesses, the most important facet that they require at this stage is that of patience. When one says patience it surely means the sort of patience and resilience that Zimbabwe opener Tino Mawoyo displayed in his unbeaten knock of 165 off 435 balls in the Test match against Pakistan.

Patience is the one thing that will let this team crawl towards success eventually and not get bogged down by failure but actually learn from it. The real test for Zimbabwe as a cricketing nation beings now. They have got a taste of success and the question now is whether they have it in them to hold onto that success. Taylor and his men must have a burning desire to announce themselves as equals in the world of sport. Zimbabwe has got a second life in the game of cricket and it is essential that they do not let that dwindle away because they might not get a third.

Shashreek Roy for DieHard Cricket Fans
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When Harbhajan made it too large

The umpire does a bhangra after hearing the news of Harbhajan's drop from the team

So, Harbhajan Singh is droppable after all. Who knew?

On a day the Indian selectors showed a middle finger to the off spinner, who arrogantly announced himself ready for the England and West Indies series, they also brought in a fresh faced leg spinner whose route to the national team was on the basis of ONE impressive IPL season, and selected three rookie fast bowlers to face a rising English team on flat tracks.

Despite Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Sehwag and Rohit Sharma still nursing their injuries, the batting still retains a solid look. With Parthiv, Rahane, Raina, Kohli, Dhoni and Jadeja all enjoying decent form with the bat, India will not be too bothered about the absentees. It is another matter when it comes to the bowling.

Praveen Kumar is the only comforting pick among the ‘pace’ bowlers. Umesh Yadav has not shown any promise in the brief opportunities he has received and Vinay Kumar is Praveen Kumar without the guile or angry scowls. Hopefully, Varun Aaron and S Aravind get enough chances to impress.

That brings us to the spin department. It was about time Bhajji was dropped. It has been a long time since he was a match winner for the team, with the ball. It is interesting that someone like Harbhajan Singh gets more chances than Rahul Dravid has in ODIs in the last few years. Hopefully, the selectors will not bring him back for the remainder of the series, and he will work on his bowling with trusted and well meaning coaches.

While the selections of Ashwin and Jadeja makes sense, it is unfair that someone like Rahul Sharma gets a place in the team, based on an impressive IPL season. Whether he grabs his chance and shines in his debut series is another matter. It is disappointing for bowlers like Pragyan Ojha and Iqbal Abdullah who do whatever is required of them in domestic cricket and the IPL for the last few seasons now.

Either way, this is the squad for just the first two games; and with Cheeka at the helm, it is hard to predict if they will make any changes to the team after that. Still, by the look of this squad, the selectors are hoping to stumble on to some bowling superstar. For their sake, and for the sake of the team, I hope they do.

Squad: MS Dhoni (capt & wk), Gautam Gambhir, Parthiv Patel, Ajinkya Rahane, Virat Kohli, Suresh Raina, Ravindra Jadeja, R Ashwin, Varun Aaron, Umesh Yadav, Vinay Kumar, S Aravind, Rahul Sharma, Manoj Tiwary, Praveen Kumar.

Benny for DieHard Cricket Fans
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Controversially Yours

Disclaimer – This is not a book review. And I have not read the book as yet. And more importantly I have NO intention of reading it either.

Its becoming quite a trend in the cricket world. A cricketer gets his “autobiography” (or rather a “ghost written” account of his life in first person). Now whats the use of writing it if he can’t sell it. To sell it, need to market it. To market it, a little controversy helps. Whats the easiest way to do that. Take potshots at the biggest icons in the biggest cricket market in the world. It could be anyone. Mention SRT claiming that he doesn’t win matches for India or BCCI as a dictator in the cricketing world or IPL having bought the soul of cricket or poor Indian crowd behaviour or whatever comes to their mind. Now this little snippet might be just 1 line buried somewhere in the 235th page of a 600 page biography. But make sure to use selectively leak this to the Indian media, which can be always be trusted to blow up any non-event. There they would be making sure that everyone hears of the “insult” to our “holy”deities. For the cricketer and his publisher “Job Done”.

Pretty formulaic.

But then we have our own Amul find humour in this. Here is their latest billboard.

Nishant Kumar for DieHard Cricket Fans
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